sadashiro's photostream

the world was too small for young charlotte. everyday, she would attend her classes with a smile. charlotte would sit and listen to her instructors. at night, she would study quietly in her room. charlotte's mother and father would inquire if she needed help with her schoolwork. the answer was always a polite no. charlotte would blow out the candles by her bed, signifying the end of another day of pretending. she didn't want to show disrespect to her parents, but charlotte's mind was far beyond panroku-shu's schoolbooks. in the darkness, charlotte could finally breathe. as young as she was, charlotte understood what laid in store for her. panroku-shu was a marvelous place to grow up, but to live abroad - that was her dream. her imagination could not comprehend the vastness of that unknown. it overwhelmed her. every day in panroku-shu was the same. charlotte had already outgrown it all.

charlotte's older brother, tsunishi, was out of school and working for the military. his distaste for books was as deep as charlotte's affinity for them. he spoke proudly of the might of panroku-shu's military. he boasted of working with his hands to earn his keep, and yet he still lived at home. charlotte never faulted him for his simplemindedness. tsunishi's personality was large enough for the both of them and that suited charlotte fine. charlotte's mother and father spent most of their time listening to tsunishi drone on about the latest military news. without wanting to, charlotte had a wealth of knowledge about military strategy at her fingertips.

shortly after charlotte turned 16, panroku-shu opened its trade ports to western vessels. merchant vessels from all over the world found safe haven there. on a golden afternoon in the spring after her 16th birthday, charlotte found herself perusing the harbor marketplace. the foreign letters she could read well enough. she came across a vendor with piles and piles of books. charlotte had never seen volumes so immense. she was so engrossed in reading the titles that she didn't notice the banner above her head. in large black letters it read, "study abroad." charlotte looked up and immediately knew - her fate had been signed and sealed. charlotte was no longer bound by the confines of this kingdom or this shore. her future was suddenly burning bright with expectation. charlotte sprinted home to tell her parents. they wouldn't be pleased, but after years of obedience and exemplary work she knew they would see that her choice was a good one.

once the decision had been made, charlotte's days in panroku-shu were numbered. the foreignors were leaving in three months - plenty of time for charlotte to say goodbye. plenty of time for her entire world to implode...

...to be continued...

______________________________________
thank you, char-la-la!

three nights after her arrival in panroku-shu, xia, high princess of kiyoei-shu was finishing her meal at the king's table. the king, of course, was not present. king saruwatari was a sick man; relegated to his bed chamber high above the courtyard level of the castle. in his place sat xia's contemporaries sadashiro and aoi saruwatari, the king's children. also joining the evening's supper was chancellor toriyo michiru, his wife luqi and their children kei and timiko. the chancellor had spent the entire meal speaking to his aides about official business. once they had been sent away, the room became very quiet; the only sound was the tinkling of plates the servants cleared from the table. if not for their awkward silence, the evening was quite nice. the sun cast a sweeping glow through the open windows. xia was looking forward to some alone time. just then, the chancellor loudly cleared his throat, wiping his mouth with a silk napkin. he glanced slyly in xia's direction as he did so. xia was getting used to the chancellor's silent, subtle intimidations. he had not spoken a word to the princess since she arrived in panroku-shu, which by rights was treason - but xia let it go. the king had enough problems without having to worry about some ancient royal custom. he would think me a silly child, xia thought to herself. the less she would have to speak to the chancellor, the better.

xia decided to excuse herself from the table. as she began to stand, a voice called out: princess xia? xia turned to see sadashiro, the king's son, approaching her side of the table. she took quick stock of him - he wore his royal black evening shirt, which looked quite uncomfortable, although he never let it show. his smile was genuine. sadashiro pulled xia's chair out for her. would you care for a walk in the courtyard? he said. yes, xia said, probably a tad quicker than she meant to. before kei and the chancellor could get out of their chairs, the two walked briskly out the door. timi scrambled to follow them. i'll return in time to tuck you in, timi! sada called back.

without a word the two walked down the corridor to the courtyard. xia sighed to herself. she was relieved to be away from the chancellor. but now she was going to take a walk with the king's son. neither had said a word. she glanced at him. he seemed to be smiling, but she couldn't be sure. when they made it to the courtyard doors, sada reached out to open one for her. xia went out the door, with sadashiro right behind. by all measure of royalty, xia and sadashiro were equals. both were heirs to royal thrones. their lives had been priveleged. their kingdoms were now at peace. but beyond that they knew nothing of one another. as they stepped out onto the massive courtyard, the fading western sun blinded them momentarily. xia sheilded her eyes. they began walking, allowing the warmth of the setting sun to overtake them. i am sorry i haven't been available, sada said. it's been very busy since you arrived. i understand, xia said. i am a stranger here. i didn't expect any special treatment. i have actually been waiting a long time to talk to you, sada responded. i've had so many questions. so have i, xia thought. sada stopped walking and bowed to xia. princess xia of kiyoei-shu, it is my pleasure to meet you. i hope this castle serves as a suitable home for you over the coming year. don't think of me as the king's son but merely your humble servant. sada smiled and gave xia a very exagerrated wink. xia smiled genuinely for the first time since her arrival. sadashiro was a goofball, she thought, and that was fine with her. as the sun faded over the ocean, xia and sadashiro walked and talked about where they had come from and where they hoped to go. it was the start of a royal friendship.

_________________________
thank you, serend1p1tyx!

if you want to know what happened before this, please read the previous entry for xia.

when i was 11, my father took me to kiyoei-shu. i was young and just beginning to understand the weight of my father's role as king. we rode by horse and carriage the whole way there. i remember feeling anxious because i had heard so many elaborate stories about our neighbor to the east. they were savages, some said. the boys from military families in panroku-shu were never shy about adding to the myth surrounding kiyoei-shu. kei and i heard them all. i have to admit that on the long journey to their kingdom, i could think of nothing else. the rumors had me convinced. my father was in good spirits and i couldn't figure out why. i kept looking at him with suspicion. he had to know we were traveling into danger.

growing up as the king's son, i just assumed my father had some business with the emperor of kiyoei-shu, a man i remember meeting when i was very small. i just assumed a week of royal duties and customs lay ahead of me. after being on the road for so long, i was actually looking forward to some pampering. i closed my eyes with that thought in my mind. when i opened them, all was deathly quiet. the daylight was long gone. my father's once jovial countenance was now very serious. the horses pulled us soundlessly through the dense forest. i peaked out to see that the royal guard had dismounted and were moving very close to the carriage. the air was so still. sensing my rising panic, my father placed his hand on my shoulder. just then we stopped. as i turned to look at my father, i heard a sound like a bird but not like a bird. i listened closer. there it was again. without hesitation, my father lifted the tarp on his side of the carriage and made a sound with his mouth not unlike the one outside. the sound responded again. and with that confirmation my father, the king of panroku-shu, opened the door and stepped outside the sanctuary of the guarded carriage. the next thing i knew, my father and i were ushered into a very small but cozy home. father's smile was back again and i could smell a delicious aroma from somewhere in the house. i took off my shoes near the entrance. i could hear my father's laughter along with another hearty voice i did not recognize. it belonged to someone obviously close to my father. this was not exactly what i expected, but my father's laughter was the only welcoming sign i needed. i took one step towards those merry sounds when i saw her. i barely noticed her sitting there at the end of a long hallway. she was as quiet as a mouse. i bowed in her direction, but she only stared even more curiously. not trying to make a nuisance of myself, i bowed one more time and moved away in the direction of my father's voice.

the living area of the home was warm and inviting. my father sat on the floor next to an enormous man. he was pouring something for my father with a smile that spread from ear to ear. i instantly felt safe here. my father introduced me and i bowed with as much respect as i could muster. the man bowed his head slightly and let out a monstrous laugh. so this is the one, he said. i looked at my father, confused. my father only responded by downing the drink that had just been poured for him. here is my little one, the man said. i turned around and the little girl from the hallway was standing right next to me. i jumped back. the man laughed and introduced my father to his daughter, a girl he called emi. the man began to introduce me, but before i could bow, she was gone. she darted away as fast as she had arrived. the man's laughter boomed again. she'll warm up to you, sada-kun, he said. she's just not used to visitors. i smiled politely.

later, after we had eaten. i sat quietly near the warm fire, trying not to listen to my father's conversation with this man he called fumio-san. i closed my eyes but i was not tired. i opened my eyes to find emi next to me again. she held out her hand. in it was a sweet pastry wrapped in tea leaves. she no longer seemed afraid of me. if she ever really was, i don't know. i took the pastry from her graciously. long black hair fell like silk curtains across her face. i'm emi, she said. nice to meet you, i said.

one week turned into one month, as my father and i spent every waking moment with fumio-san and his daughter, emi. i would turn back the clock for another month just like that one - special moments filled with peace and innocence.

emi - where are you now...

saruwatari, sadashiro
memoir, september 27

____________________________________
thank you, e m ♥ i l y ! sorry it took me so long to get this story written. the saga continues...

do you want to see where my family was murdered? she said. the kitchen suddenly grew very quiet. sada shared a glance with timi before answering. yes, i do, he said. the girl they knew only as miku had barely spoken since coming to the king's castle. she was one of the youngest, but by no means the most innocent. it was obvious that whatever was buried deep inside had aged her beyond her years.

they decided to go on horseback so they could travel as a group. the castle was safe during the day, but sada asked charlotte to stay behind anyway. they travelled in silence; their horses carrying them through the deserted morning streets. they were in no hurry. the sun was high in the sky by the time they reached the southeastern point of panroku-shu. before them was an expansive field of wheat. as far as the eye could see stood soft golden stems swaying in the gentle noontime breeze. miku dismounted from her horse and immediately took flight through the field, clearing a path around her. sada wanted to go after her but thought better of it. they all dismounted and tied the horses to nearby trees. they started off on foot through the curtains of wheat.

they shielded their eyes from the sun's glare as they slowly made their way. if it wasn't for their circumstances it was actually quite a beautiful day. sadashiro kept one eye on where miku had flown off and another on where they was walking. his mind was on miku. none of them knew anything about her past. she never discussed it with them -- not even to timi, who everyone felt comfortable opening up to. sada had no idea what desolate wounds they were walking into. he couldn't hide his trepidation from yuri, who put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. they continued through the massive field until the wheat finally thinned out enough for them to see beyond. sitting under a large maple tree that looked a thousand years old was a small house -- its roof completely smashed in upon itself. a gigantic hole through the center of it allowed sun rays to iluminate the inside of the house. through the hollow windows and doorway they could see straight into the house. miku was standing on what remained of the roof. sada immediately turned to timi and asked her to hold kaori back because the scene was too eerily similar to how sada had found her all those months prior. sada and the rest approached the house. as they reached the doorway, the usually reserved miku turned to them.

i killed them, she said. on that fateful night in panroku-shu, when eternity ended, miku had flown straight through the roof. it wasn't her fault. she couldn't control it. her mother and father paid the price, however. the roof, which wasn't made of sturdy materials, buckled and fell down upon them. they were killed instantly. miku was too far away to hear them scream. she was already almost a mile away, speeding through the air without any control over her body or her emotions. when she returned hours later, exhausted from harnassing her power, she found them. the day had already sprouted on the horizon. she spent the entire day digging them out and giving them a proper burial behind their home. she lived alone in that shambled house from that point forward. she flew during the night to escape the memories, returning in the morning to a home that would forever be empty to her.

__________________________________________________
much thanks to ilovestrawberries. it's been way too long since the last installment!

the colors of panroku-shu shone the brightest in spring. but nobody told anh, who nurtured her love for life all-year round. the breeze coming off the sun-tipped waves nearby her home carried with it a light mist that always made anh's world light up like stars. summer was coming soon, and panroku-shu was beautiful all around her.

anh was just finishing her second year at kansei school. she had four weeks left after this weekend and her spirits couldn't be higher. she walked down the path towards the beach, the sun warming her skin and her hair. anh was relieved her mother had made her keep her hair long. the way it swayed along her shoulders when she walked always made her feel like a woman. and the boys noticed too, or so she was told by her nosy friends. anh smiled at the thought. boys seemed so childish to her. but anh didn't dwell on those trivial issues long. today was sunday, and it was a gorgeous day.

anh made it to the beach and kicked off her sandals. as her toes hit the smooth sand she began to pick up her pace. the beach was expansive and it took a good two to three minutes to make it to the water. she could feel the droplets from the seawind on her face. the weather was warm but it was still spring wind after all. anh walked with her head held high as she soaked in the heat and rays. as she neared the shoreline, the rumbling of the waves grew louder as they broke against the beach. anh always choose the most torrid part of the beach. the explosion of saltwater and sand felt a lot like her life. anh's mother always taught her not to worry. she wanted anh to grow up above the stress of every day life. panroku-shu was a perfect place for them, her mother would always say. it was peace personified. but like the biggest wave, it was bound to come crashing down. anh struggled with that certainty every day. she questioned what was next for her life. her gaze took her beyond the white caps. a ship that seemed awfully close to shore was headed right towards her. it wasn't a ship at all but the royal sailing vessel. anh froze. king yoshio saruwatari couldn't be coming here, she thought, puzzled. before she had time to move, the vessel took an immediate turn starboard. anh shielded the sun with her hand so she could see better. only one person was on the barge. it was a boy. she just stared at him. he is going to be arrested, she thought, for stealing the royal barge. she kept staring at him. something was familiar about him and she couldn't place it. for no reason at all, as he was almost out of view, he saw her. without thinking, anh waved at him. and to her surprise, he waved back. anh's heart stopped. that wasn't some juvenile stealing the king's boat. that boy was hideaki, the king's son and the prince of panroku-shu. hideaki put his hand down but continued to look in anh's direction until he was out of sight.

anh skipped all the way home.

________________________________________________________________
it is my distinct honor to add hiyaimnicole to the saga of sadashiro.