aalexa.jeann's photostream

I don't know if anyone is going to see this, certainly not anyone I know. This just feels right.
I haven't posted to flickr in nearly two years. I'm such a completely different entity from the person in those old photos. Since then, I've written my days and thoughts down most days.
I live in Bellingham now and am a sophomore at Western Washington University, and I've never felt so content and so tall. I feel like everyday I can touch another little piece of the future and learn more and more.
I recently switched my educational focus from philosophy (which I fell madly in love with last year and still love) to environmental studies and journalism. My greatest passion now feels like everything. I love this Earth and all of us on it so much and I just want to be a part of it and help take care of it as much as I can.
Since I left this weird online community of artists I've grown and learned to breathe and relax and be happy with every minute of every day, even the painful ones, and how to let my passions flow.
My sweet Becca and I don't live so close anymore, but she is still my sweet Becca. My roommate's name is Carly and I feel so lucky to live with her, I couldn't ask to share this first year here with a more beautiful girl.
Everything I've ever felt bitter or resentful about before is gone, I'm just trying to let the future come to me as it will.
I just wanted to stop by and say hello, flickr! I swear my life isn't as melancholy as this picture and short essay make it sound, I laugh plenty, too. I finally took my poor neglected camera out and put him on my desk. I think pictures will arise soon..in a new account.
Thanks for years of helping me be me and you all be it, too, flickr<3
Slam dunk!!

Soooooo. Hi.
I'm kind of apologizing, BECAUSE I didn't even really properly break up with my flickr account, I just kinda left it hanging, like a big jerk.
I thought I'd tell everyone what happened to me, because that seems polite. Anyway.

To begin with, the reason I stopped my 365 all together a few months ago was pretty stupid.
I was taking horrible pictures. I wasn't even taking pictures. 365 was an obnoxious three second chore at the end of every day and it just depressed me how lazy an uninspired I had become with it. During the effing flooding in Carnation, I had finally set up a shoot with Madi for a cool 365 idea, and she was helping me out with it.
Of course, I don't have a functioning tripod, so Madeline was holding it steady for me in front of a blue sheet in my bathroom. Pf.
My mom knocks on the door. "Don't come in, wait". She knocks again. "Mom- hang on." Knock knock knock. She opens the door, and knocks my camera on the ground. My lens was BUSTED into the body of my camera and the one good picture I had managed to get was deleted.
So, I was like, fuck. Fuck this. I'm done. Sorry. But seriously, I was. I mean FUCK.
Mom starts yelling at me for dropping my 300 dollar camera onto the ground, before my brother told her it was her fault, when she finally stopped.

SO- there's my justification rant. Anyway, I can't take pictures now without holding my lens to the camera or it falls off the body, so that's frustration in itself. I plan on buying a new lens with my ENDLESS in come once I get the chance. BUT! I have more justification rants!!

I'm just really, REALLY busy. Apart from the fact that it's one big support group for kids in their late teen years, I miss flickr a lot, I still stalk some of you guys and watch your streams continue to grow and amaze everyone, and I miss being part of an online community of talented people. I don't know how some of you do it, you crazy insomniacs, but I don't have time. In the summer, sure! But between my job, trying to balance my finances in order to pay for gas, a broken muffler, and school supplies, my six classes, my BROKEN camera, being a bitter, grumpy person all day, planning summerstage AND Battle of the bands, and making mixes for people (right, I do that), I don't have the time to think like I used to.

Once school's out and I have even a little free time, I definitely plan on coming back, somehow finding a way to invest in a new lens that doesn't dangle off of my camera, and getting back into a groove.

You guys are amazing. I can't wait to keep watching your pictures pop up on my screen and eventually get some of mine (that aren't blurry pictures of various body parts, a song title, and a heading that looks like I'm stranded on a deserted island) back.
THANK YOU!!

And oh yeah- I hate these dumb ugly glasses. They're just lenders until I get my old ones back. Because mine broke.
I'm graceful with my things.