An open letter to our loyal friends, free account holders, and creative Pro members,
Happy Holidays to you All.
Here at Flickr Headquarters we have recently been getting a few thousand complaints --- especially from our esteemed paying members. There seems to be a unanimous opinion that our Flickr pages are running slower than snails swimming in molasses.
Apparently, this problem only occurs on those extremely rare occasions when someone clicks on buttons that have anything to do with....
(1) trying to log on,
(2) accessing Flickr from your tool bar,
(3) uploading your own photos,
(4) looking at your own photos,
(5) looking at other peoples photos,
(6) trying to get the "Fave Button" to work,
(7) getting your caption corrections and revisions to save,
(8) getting your hypertext markups to save,
(9) refreshing your Home Page (or any other page),
(10) checking your daily stats (which sometimes read zero),
(11) posting comments,
(12) finding any help at the HELP pages,
(13) other insignificant, hardly-noticeable, minor little problems like, uhhh, your attempted actions totally timing out, or, one of our Flickr staff accidentally deleting your entire account.
THE NEW GEO-TAGGER and the THE NEW UP-LOADER
The above mentioned problems might be related to our new, super-duper, top-of-the-line MAPS which we obtained by attaching alligator clips to the back of a NOKIA Smart Phone. Yes, we know that for half of you, the maps are so bad they are not worth the cyber-paper they are printed on. But, you will get used to it after a while. Everyone does.
We also think that some of the problems might be due to the "worm-hole effect" --- that is, the quantum tunneling of bugs that exist in our bank of servers on one side of the room, somehow jumping over to unrelated servers on the other side of the room.
We think the culprit might be our wonderful new PHOTO UP-LOADER, which still has more bugs in it than an old mattress in an abandoned Motel. However, please keep in mind that we consider two days of BETA TESTING more than enough time before retiring the old pages you are used to.
OK, so we're really not really sure why we continue to have all of these problems, but are looking into it.
PROOF THAT WE CARE
Although lacking the nervous systems of you "normal people", we here at Flickr do feel your pain, and the tech support staff --- including our chief hardware and software engineers seen above --- are working hard to solve these alleged problems.
Therefore, in order to PROVE TO YOU that we are doing all we can, we are allowing Okinawa_Soba to post the above restricted photograph of us holding a special meeting to discuss these issues.
Although Flickr does not usually reveal corporate secrets and technical details, the leader of our trouble-shooting team (seated in the center) is holding a very small, hi-tech piece of newly acquired equipment on the table in front of him.
We believe this new up-grade to our system will solve any problems you
might be experiencing.
It is explained in the photo note that appears on the table, which may be accessed by Flickr's top secret method of moving the cursor over the hi-lighted note box. We ask that you not reveal this to anyone working over at PHOTO BUCKET.
Yellow notes in photo are taken directly from transcripts of our highly technical discussion.
HOWEVER, before solving these issues that are of such importance to you all, we are first waiting for one of our Flickr interns to bring us a mop. We need to clean up the floor after we're done drinking our beer --- which seems to go right through us.
We thank you for your patience.
Flickr Tech Support.
PS. While we at Flickr DO NOT RECOMMEND OR ENDORSE THE ACTIONS LISTED BELOW, until we can get things fixed, several Flickr members have found one or more of the following options to be very helpful in solving any recurring problems with the Flickr pages, or our new NOKIA Geo-Tagging Maps :
(1) Popping two Aspirin and a couple of large Cyanide capsules with a glass of milk.
(2) Jumping off the highest bridge you can find.
(3) Throwing yourself under a fast-moving Diesel Locomotive.
(4) Emptying a 12-Gauge Shotgun Blast directly into your computer from point-blank range.
(5) Deleting your account, and starting from scratch with PHOTOBUCKET.
Most report that the last two are not as effective as the first three in solving the problem.