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B&W rose | by the real Tiggy
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B&W rose

i have been debating what to say or not to say on here since "it" happened. i think i have decided to post it. its been an emotional week for both nicky and me.

 

we've had a miscarriage. we found out when we went for our 12 week scan. we are both devastated, its been the saddest week of our lives.

nicky ended up needing an operation and had to stay in hospital. she is home now and things are physically at least pretty good.

 

the hospital holds a service for (is parents the right word?) people who have had one, on the 3rd tuesday of the month, thats next tuesday. i guess thats gonna be another awful day. but once thats done with we can start to think about normality again.

 

people talk about closure, and its only when something like this happens that you begin to understand the meaning of "closure" i think its gonna be a good thing (if you know what i mean).

 

its not been easy but we have helped each other through it. its been a real help to know that people are thinking about us. we're trying not to get too sad about it but this is difficult. again we're helping each other.

 

this is one of the roses nickys friend jenny got us. its not black in real life but its how i'm seeing things of late. hopefully the colour will return soon enough.

 

really should say thanks to the people at the hospital. you have all been great. the people on the early pregnancy unit, the people in the operating bit, the doctors, the people on the ward, hell even the people just wandering about the place. a shitty way to meet you all but it was made as easy as it could be by you lot. thanks for that.

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Taken on November 16, 2008