nanny snowflake's photostream  

"Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud." - Hermann Hesse

Everyone of us is guilty of saying too much... or not enough. Communication is an essential tool to life, but almost everyone wields the tool like a madman with a chainsaw... improperly. I grew up with parents who communicated their thoughts, feelings, and needs in almost opposite ways. One is unafraid to speak their mind and share them with others (sometimes whether you want to hear them or not). The other keeps them inside unless necessary to share them with others. I have qualities of both.

Being in the mental health profession, words are one of our most important tools in working with our clients. We work with our clients to help them understand their thoughts, feelings, and needs and then how to let others know about them appropriately. It can be a struggle to do so ourselves sometimes... I know it is for me sometimes. I have a boyfriend who is unafraid to communicate with me, but I still hold myself back sometimes out of habit. I do not mean to do so... it can just be hard to break a habit sometimes. I am working though to be more open with others... and him :)

*Well, so ends my last weekend living and working in Mississippi. At this time one week from now, I will be living in Louisiana. Bring on the mixed feelings...

Here we stand... my best friend's law school graduation. So freaking proud of her!

I'm so proud that we have had rich education successes... and even more, that we can still stand together as friends 18 years later (we met when we were in 4th grade, so around 1994). I look forward to celebrating many more successes of all kinds with her :)

What a long week this has been... Only 6 more work days left here in Mississippi.

I've been telling my families this week about my upcoming departure. I have to say the range of emotions I'm getting shock me... I really didn't know I'd be missed that much. Some of my kids have requested pictures with me to keep... that touches my heart so deeply that they would want to remember me. Wow...

One more workday this week because I took off on Friday so I can head to Atlanta to see my best friend graduate from law school :)

"If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater the effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders -- what would you tell him to do? I don't know. What could he do? What would you tell him? To shrug." - Ayn Rand (from Atlas Shrugged)

I feel like Atlas at times... that I carry the weight of many instead of only my own. I worry that when I leave my job that'll I'll burden my other coworkers with my caseload. I worry about the success of my children and families after I leave. I worry that I may cause them more harm than good when I depart. I worry that I don't spend enough time with the people I care about. I worry that they don't know how much I care. The anxiety and worry are giant weights that cause undue stress not only myself... but on those around me because it tend to show itself as undue frustration and annoyance inadvertently directed at them. I sincerely apologize. I know it's not healthy to care too much, but I'm afraid of caring too less... where is the healthy boundary?

*Much thanks to that special boyfriend of mine for dealing with me via phone in helping with the Photoshop effects. Hopefully he'll teach me his wonderful knowledge of that application before I frustrate him into oblivion...

Only 12 more work days... oh that light at the end of the tunnel gets a little brighter and brighter each day.

Still on the job search/hunt though. Got a few rejections so far, which is disappointing and frustrating to say the least. I'm telling myself at least that those jobs were not meant for me... that I have something else waiting for me. Patience is not one of my strongest virtues though lol.

This is at my favorite little sushi restaurant. I call in order for pick up at least once a week. I'm going to miss this little place once I move...