Sam McPheeters' photostream

Everyone who applies for U.S. citizenship should have to write a 500-word essay on this photo. You mean people from your land DON'T drink beer out of crystal footballs?

Okay, calm down. This was just a friendly argument over home mortgage interest deductions, nothing more.

J. Ryan from Six Finger Satellite interviews a can of Miller Natural Ice. J. is in my top five of all time best frontmen. What many people don't know about him is that he is also a dedicated jornalist [sic].

How is it that Mos Def and KRS-One can bust into Jamaican Rastafarian voice whenever they want, but whenever I talk like this at the supermarket or the bank, everyone just gets quiet and looks at the floor?

No, no, don't get up. You guys had to make it all the way up onto the couch, so you're probably exhausted. Can I get you anything before you pass out for another nine hours? More free food? Even more free toys? A health care plan that guarantees 24/7 coverage by two beings ten times your size, of exponentially vaster intelligence, for the rest of your carefree who-gives-a-shit existences?