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Just to let everyone here in Flickrland know that I'm more or less 'off-line' right now. I do, on occasion, check out some photos but I don't have the time or energy to participate. My life's main focus right now is on my husband and his recovery from the strokes he suffered this past summer.

Here is a link to a web site that some of Mark's friends set up for us a while ago. If you want to keep informed of Mark's progress, simply bookmark the site or subscribe to it. Writing a blog update every once in a while is just about all I can handle, outside of being Mark's primary caregiver.

markmsilver.wordpress.com/

Thanks!
Mary

We were finally given permission on the weekend, by Mark's doctor, to bring Maple in to the hospital for a visit. Mark and Maple had been apart for 9 weeks. Mark was up in his wheelchair when we arrived, which was great. Mark could see him easily. Maple jumped right up to see his daddy, and started licking his weakened left hand and arm. Mark touched him with his good hand and also rubbed Maple's chest with his foot, just like he does at home. It was a wonderful scene!
:-)

First I want to thank each and every one of you who commented on my last photo with your wonderful words of encouragement, and the folks who sent private messages. Every single word means so much to me at this incredibly difficult time. I am truly grateful to all of you. Thank you so, so much.

It's hard to believe that it's been 5 weeks since our happy little world was turned completely upside down by a series of strokes suffered by my strong and healthy 54 year old husband. How the heck did this happen? The doctors are still trying to figure this out. What we know is that Mark had a clot in his right vertebral artery. It showered emboli at the back of his brain, at home, while he was trying to recover from a gastrointestinal infection. There is no relation between the two conditions. The symptoms of his stroke were masked by the symptoms of his diarrhea. What we thought was a fainting episode, due to fatigue, dehydration and extreme heat here in Toronto at the end of July, was actually a stroke. His symptoms came on slowly over the course of the following week....visual disturbance, headaches, confusion, and then the kicker - short term memory loss. He had seen our own family doctor TWICE during that time, and been in and out of emergency TWICE that same week. When I took him back the third time, with severe headaches and memory loss, they admitted him. We've been at the hospital ever since.

He had another, more serious, stroke in the hospital 5 days later. This one sent him to the Critical Care Unit. This was when the doctors warned me that he may not survive the next few days. When he showed signs of swelling in his brain, he was sent to a downtown hospital for observation, where emergency neurosurgery could be performed if needed. However, he stabilized over the course of 3 days, and the neurologist there said that he was finally out of the acute phase and was now in 'recovery'! He was sent back to our hospital.

After a few more days in CCU, he improved enough to be 'stepped-down' to the Neurology floor where rehabilitation was going to start. He was awake on and off most days, and responding to us by squeezing our hands, nodding his head, kissing, and saying just a few words. He wasn't there more than a few days when I was awakened by a phone call one morning saying that Mark was very sick and feverish and was sent back to the CCU and this time he was intubated (assisted breathing).....and maybe I should think about whether or not I want to sign a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! I took my girls to the hospital right away, informed his family, while being very careful to filter what I would tell his 84 year old mother.

That whole day went by with my girls in tears at their daddy's bedside and not one doctor came to me to talk about a DNR order. When I finally shared what I was told during my morning phone call with the CCU doctor at the end of the day, he asked me - "Why did he tell you that? We would never ask you to make such a decision when your husband is so young. He would have to be in much more serious danger before we would even think about a DNR order." What a relief!

Turns out Mark had a chest infection, not pneumonia, which is a common occurrence when you're lying in bed for weeks at a time. He had aspirated something. He was given antibiotics, many tests were run on all his various specimens, and more scans done of his brain. He stabilized, but then got another infection when they removed the tube from his throat and replaced that with a tracheostomy. (He needs to have his airway protected at this time, although he is breathing completely on his own.) The neurologist was very concerned after looking at the last MRI, because the last stroke happened in the thalamus. (The thalamus regulates states of sleep and wakefulness, among many other important things like relaying motor signals to the cerebral cortex.) Mark had been asleep for days and was not responsive at all. He was worried that he may never wake up.

But - Mark woke up the next day and has been awake every day since then. They got the infection under control and he's really been improving these last few days. He is definitely in there, fighting.
He is still completely weakened on his left side, but I saw signs of movement yesterday and today in both limbs. He can't speak because of the trach tube but he is trying hard to verbalize. He sits in a chair every day for hours at a time and is responding well to stimulation, like the music on his iPod, TV and the voices of our family. He has been disconnected from most of the machines again, finally. He no longer needs to have his heart rate, blood pressure, oxygen, and respiration constantly monitored. (I've learned more about medicine than I ever could've imagined this past month.) He continues to eat through a feeding tube that goes directly to his stomach. Just before he got sick with the infections, he showed signs that his swallowing and gag reflexes had returned. So I am hopeful that they will come back again. These past two weeks in the CCU have been a real setback, but thank god it was there, with all the wonderful nurses and doctors, when Mark desperately needed to be there. I, on the other hand, have been on an emotional roller coaster, but I'm still here and I'm with Mark every single day.

All kinds of specialists are working on Mark's case to find out why he clotted in the first place, and also to prevent it from happening again. He may be on blood thinners the rest of his life. His heart is strong and healthy. His vascular system is in good shape too. We're still waiting on other tests. If only Dr. House could figure it out!

Today Mark was finally released from the CCU to the Enhanced Care Unit where rehabilitation will begin - again. Since he tolerates sitting in his chair so well, I will be able to take him outside soon. That means that I can bring our beloved standard poodle Maple to the hospital to see his daddy! Everyone I've spoken to at the hospital is completely in favour of pet therapy. I can't wait to bring Mark and Maple together again after 5 weeks apart! I may even bring my camera for that occasion.

I am very hopeful that Mark will recover from these devastating strokes. Right now he can't do anything for himself. But he is showing his fighting spirit every day. I can tell he is one pissed-off dude. Good thing I'm the patient one, because this is going to take time - a long time - and it's probably a good thing that Mark is the impatient one, because he needs to keep fighting. As our neurologist keeps reminding me, Mark is YOUNG. Mark is STRONG. He has survived these past few drastic weeks. It is obvious that the rewiring of his brain has already begun. It just takes TIME.
And we have plenty of that.

On a final note, let me add 2 things:

If you're the bread winner in your family, seriously think about getting Disability or Critical Illness Insurance.
(thanks to Mark for doing something about this years ago)

If you smoke, PLEASE STOP smoking. You really, really don't want to experience this. Trust me on this. (Mark is not a smoker)

If I don't respond to your emails or messages, please know that it's just because I am exhausted, in many ways, but I read everything and appreciate it all so very much. So please keep those prayers and good healthy vibes coming!

Thanks
:-)

Mark is in critical condition in ICU. He has had a series of strokes this past week. I'm trying not to go out of my mind. All prayers, good vibes, positive healing energy most welcome.

photo taken by a friendly Frenchman.
This place was beautiful!!