tracylynntesmer's photostream  

This is the why:

I am a photographer by trade. At least that’s what I was doing for the last 7 years. Until one day I woke up and realized that I had just spent the last 3 years revising every corner of my business and I still wasn’t making ends meet. No amount of new logos or branding or awards would change some very simple facts: I hated my work, I hated the business side of photography (or rather what it has become in recent years) and, most importantly, I hated how I had used my online digital “personality” to create thousands of “fans” but I had no real connection with any of them.

This is my story:

I began my fascination with photography and anything visual at the ripe age of 9. My father had a gorgeous Canon AE-1 he let me hold and use. I fell in love with it. I fell in love with black and white film as I snapped images of my friends in my tiny farm country life whilst dreaming of the fashion world. I continued my fascination when I entered college. I was a photojournalist for my college newspaper. I was given a quick 15 minute tutorial on the darkroom. I failed, I succeeded. I was an artist model for life drawing classes. I left all of that and went on a journey. I joined the Army. I cam home, distraught and disillusioned and injured. I moved back home. I went to school. I studied theatre and english and psychology. Then I left all that to become a photographer.

This is where I’ve been:

I was at one point on of the leading music photographers in Nebraska and beyond. I went on tour. I was hip and I was hot. I spoke at colleges. I taught photography classes. I hosted art classes. I was booked solid at least 3 shoots a day. I’ve been nominated Photographer of the Year. And I’ve been blogged about. I returned to film in 2010. And just as quickly as I came into it, I came out of it due to personal tragedy and the need to be “commercially viable.” So at the end of 2011, after still no real success, I decided to return to film. And I decided to close my portrait business as a business, try to make a return to the corporate world, and go back to school.

This is who I am:

I am still a photographer. I am still an artist. I love my analog cameras and the smell of negatives. I live for the hum of a scanner. I abhor watermarks. I am completely re-enamored with my iPhone and Instagram. I want to learn how to knit. I make jewelry in my spare time; some of it good, some of it not so good. I like online PC games. I am passionate, giving, patient, loving and gifted. I say this because I know I have talent. I’m comfortable with the knowledge that I have tremendous talent. It’s not ego, it’s just confidence that waxes and wanes on occasion. I love to write.