As Hobbes said, the nature of man is nasty, British and short.
Naughty Karate Monkey. Get yours at

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I am tall, quite handsome, rather short, and more than a little hideous.

Sports I follow avidly are: Aussie rules hopscotch, grouse pincing, and tuna racing.

My family owns a small, successful tuna ranch in eastern Tennessee, which I stand to inherit in entirety, foregoing my brother's divorce from our cousin Lula May.

Toads frighten me.


Things I love about Tom McGuane:

1) The trees formed a canopy above the street where she said she lived, a street on which either invidious competition or the boundless love of property had prevailed in the form of one perfect lawn after another, and hedges that seemed to have been purchased in sections.
-- from Gallatin Canyon

2) The pain was going over him in waves. The light from the window was clear and yellow and made him feel with sudden emotion the rarity of life, the wondrous speckling of the trivial, the small-but-necessary, and the tissue of small delusions that keep good people going.
-- from To Skin a Cat


Explaining his penchant for wordplay, B Kliban said "I don't feel that words are our friends. They mislead us a lot. So I like to torture them."

Photos of Naughty Karate Monkey (2)

  • a little R&R in Burney by Naughty Karate Monkey
  • it's curtains by Naughty Karate Monkey

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  • view profile

    lorac's says:

    " I'm quite sure of it. Profligate, sybarite and rake, according to the dictionary, describe you very well, indeed! Sensualist! In addition? Appetizing tomatoes."

    October 30th, 2012

  • view profile

    Ice Nine says:

    "Wedge, Drimble Vegetation: a.k.a. Drimble Wedge and the Vegetation, Billy the Sock Puppet, Crabapple Bunion.

    Wedge is alternately 145cm and 183cm with black blonde bald long underarm hair and a distinct tattoo discretely placed.

    Often seen frequenting alcohol-free drinking establishments and opium dens controlled by the Moral Majority, usually in the company of Scooter, a cat of many torments and roundabouts.

    Fairground carousels are his nemesis, but are coveted by the dozen.

    Wedge is violent pacifist and considered highly toxic. Approach with care, lick only after consultation with your health professional."

    December 25th, 2007

  • view profile

    House of the Rising Cake (still Surly) says:

    "For me he'll be forever Blah. We plan to marry in the spring. dum dum dah dum..."

    August 31st, 2007

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    akabilk says:

    "OK, I don't know abbie.normal personaly but until I read the profile I thought she wus a girl! (!?Abbie!?)

    After reading his Cohen-esque profile ramblings, I laughed my socks off (must buy more socks).

    Some great pics and come to think of it, it is unusual (though not unknown) for girls to use a tablesaw - should have been a clue!"

    September 8th, 2007

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    Bodacious_ha_ha's says:

    "cantankerous son of a beeyotch. I think I'm in love."

    May 31st, 2007

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    maddog. says:

    "spherewood drives a black tree stump to work, incurring less tax levies than when he flies in on his old bat. driving is a sin, so naturally i disapprove."

    February 11th, 2007

August 2005
Chico, Ca / Seattle / Sedona, Az
I am:
Male and Open
bon vivant, man-about-town, profligate, sybarite and rake.