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I am immortal .. I live
And live
And live
For me I watch time pass as the gray falling of those around me like leaves. Each autumn a generation of those about me, their bright bloom of spring green. The fullness of their lives, the burning bright of colours as they fall towards the browns and decay of death.
I have watched so many. Each spring, summer and autumn passes ever faster.

I watch and wonder, where do they go these fleeting lights of life. Their lives passing, flickering before my eyes.
At times they rush long before the natural cycle of life, rushing headlong towards death. Wanting death, seeking it with arms and foolishness of those who but bloom a day and die.

And I ?
And I, I live, I live .. each lifetime a mere flicker, a happy summers days followed by a cool evening, a slowing of pace and then sleep ..

And I ? and I, do I sleep ?
Does the evening bring that rest and long deep sleep ?

So what is it that they all rush so fast to. What goal/prize draws them in like a moth to a flame, a soul to the death.

Here I live .. and live, and watch this stampede to death, to the next part of existence ?

I’m I the one who is trapped in life and for all other life this is only part of a cycle or a journey. Am I trapped, a bee in amber timeless, unaware and refused to next part of life which is death.

I sit and think, and live, and live forever watching others leave me, rushing forward and I stay behind, trapped in an eternity. Locked in a phase unchanging, boring, non meaning.
To change is to live, is to be, to exist .. I do not change, I am locked unchanging.
But I live, I live for all eternities, I live .. trapped forever.
A curse !
An imprisonment, a life sentence … I watch others travel onwards as I sit and watch.
I live …

Can I die ? .. would death allow me to enter her world, would she embrace me as she embraces all others, no matter their sin ?
Could I sleep and awaken anew, dead?

I have a choice, to live or to die
To travel forward or to remain here watching as life passes me by, as even death passes me by.
I have a choice whether to go on, forward, to journey onwards to the next part of existence or to stay here and watch.

But I have fear, I have fear of what so many have gone before and done. They had no fear?
Or if they did, death still took them, still held them in her arms …. And me she shuns !!
So why do I fear death !
Why do I fear that which all others have run towards with love, fear or indifference.
It is the fear of change, of progress, of moving towards the light

So .. how do I die ?
How do immortals die – Do I go to death and ask, beg, cry that she embrace me and take my life?
Death has shunned me, death has avoided me, she has run from me … death does no want me to change.
Death is my jailer, keeping me locked unchanging, non change – frozen as all other creatures fly into the arms of the her, and progress, forward.

So Death – you have a problem with me ?
You fear me?
You don’t want me ?
You run from me ?

Death I seek you !
I wish to that we embrace, and that I taste your lips – why do you avoid me ?
What reason do you have to run, to fear, to deny me what you give equally to the lowest and the highest life?

So I must seek you … and woo you, seduce you, kiss and take that gift you give so freely to all others.