krabumple's photostream

Christopher McGuire was born on August 25th, 1979. He was raised in joint custody by the FBI and the New York Mafia, being fed only "Hungry Man Salisbury Steaks" until his 16th birthday. Much to the Assistant Director and the Don's pleasure, he started drawing on the backs of the discarded TV dinner boxes. This led to his early, groundbreaking work in "Gravy Painting". Sadly, most of this work was destroyed in a tragic fire, in which Christopher escaped his captors and undertook his current alias and lived in a fine suburban home, located in the Everglades. Eventually, he left the swamp for Chicago, where he has been living and creating art for the past six years.

Christopher McGuire enjoys the threat of alien colonization, tobacco wrapped in tobacco, and gastrointestinal distress. He is currently obsessed with the color red and shoving paint around on boards, and occasionally soldering things in his boxer shorts, which is not very safe or good for one's health.

Christopher has also recently relocated the perfect partner for his crimes against humanity- She is, without a doubt, a match beyond comparison for him. He looks forwards to her papers going through Witness Protection, and her security level being cleared.