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• 

  smithjryan says:

  "Jack is famous...not that many people know that."

  1st June, 2007

• 

  Brett Lakanen says:

  "Jack has been a business partner of mine for a few years now. I got in to the game on a bootleg cassette tape deal in Denver. Turns out, the tapes were blank, but I still managed to pull a few large before the kids figured it out and blew the whistle.
  
  A couple of years and a few sour deals wiser, I was on an upswing from turning a big chunk of change in a game of stratego, when I happened upon a man named Jack at a truckstop diner in Kalamazoo.
  
  He was a quiet guy. The kind of guy you'd like to smack in the back of the head to see if he wasn't a mute. I didn't have to though because he hadn't ordered yet.
  
  When the heavyset waitress came by and barked "what d' you want?" I heard his mousy quivering voice. "Please, can I have a grilled cheese, please?" he said.
  
  Now, what kind of guy starts and ends a sentence with please? The kind of guy that still orders a grilled cheese and the kind of guy that I can persuade to buy some water bed sheets, I decided.
  
  So, I grabbed my can O.K. cola and scooted a few places over to sit next to his windbreaker that was draped over the stool next to him. After starting in with some small talk about the weather and that thing on the waitress' face, I started in with my water bed sheet routine.
  
  By the time I had finished my Monte Cristo, the jerk had me in for 6 packs of italian imported twinkle Christmas lights and a water filtration system. It was April, and at the time I didn't even own a house. As I walked out to my car I realized I had payed his bill too, but that wasn't too big of a deal. They had charged him for a kids meal on account of the grilled cheese. That gave me a chuckle.
  
  A couple miles down the road I realized two things. First, this guy had suckered me, big time, and secondly, he was a heck-of-a salesman.
  
  So naturally when I saw him later that day on the side of the road filling his smoking radiator with motor oil, I had half a mind to swerve the car and take him out. I wanted badly to get out of the deal I made and try to save face as a fellow salesman. You have no Idea how these thing travel among the businessmen and how they can ruin your rep for life.
  
  Unfortunately, I was in a school zone and I figured a bunch of pre-teen witnesses couldn't be good publicity for the steak knife thing I had been working on. I decided to pick him up instead and try to appeal to his conscience, if he hadn't killed it already.
  
  Now, I'm a bit of a crazy driver, and well, Jack, he's a bit squeamish in the car, so all it took was a few near misses and a dead ostrich and he was talking like a parakeet. Turns out there was no water filtration system that would be delivered to a hotel I was supposed to be staying at next week in Bakersfield. I should have known that you couldn't buy a filter system to make you tap water into holly water.
  
  I was stuck with the twinkle lights though. Apparently he had bought a buttload of those at the Farm & Fleet after Christmas sale and he'd been peddling them to strangers in town for a few months.
  
  After I almost t-boned a guy in a green LeSabre he consented to being my business partner.
  
  Since then we've made over $38k each, pulling deals in everything from prophylactic sponges to real estate. We both have a different style and If one of us can't close the deal, the other can.
  
  Say, If you are interested, I got just the thing for you.
  
  www.daddle.com/
  
  Maybe you have kids, or maybe you have a feisty mistress at home?
  For a limited time, I promise, If you buy one, I'll donate whatever change is in my pocket to the local charity of your choosing."

  30th May, 2007

Name:

Jack Liebl

Joined:

May 2005

Hometown:

Milwaukee, WI

Currently:

Chicago, IL, USA

I am:

Male and Single

Occupation:

Creative Director

Website:

jliebl.com