debbie.essex's photostream

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficent in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for cuban refugees, I write award winning operas, I manage time efficently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row, I woo women with my sensuous and God-like trombone playing, I can pilot unicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and i cook thirty-minute brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in Stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by Madrid, I am the subject of numerous documenteries. When i am bored, I build large suspension bridges in my garden. I enjoy urban handgliding. On wednesdays after night school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist a concrete analyst and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of courdroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a privite citizen, yet i recieve fan mail. I have been caller nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer i toured the Western isles with a travelling centrifugal-force demonstration. I hit 69. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl a tennisracket at small objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the Crown. I sleep once a week; when i do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada. I succesfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, i dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid on time. On weekends i let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago i discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only mouli and a toaster. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bull fights in San Juan, cliff diving competitions in Sri lanka and spelling bees at the Kremlin. i have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and i have spoken to Elvis. I recently bought a blind and a bathroom cabinet, and I am looking forward to many more!!!!!


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