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Cynical and jaded thirty-something anorak-clad work-shy pessimist.

Too many years spent in educational institutions learning 'stuff' to be stuck in what appears to be call centre hell, with only Microsoft Outlook to keep me company.

Makes it sound like I don't enjoy work... which is a lie, of course. Oh yeah, I nearly forgot, I have an unbridled tendency for sarcasm.

Outside of work, I will mostly be driving around the UK, sitting on trains, talking canals, narrowboats, music, radio or old-fashioned random trivia, drinking coffee, and generally being slightly mysterious, cynical and well, weird. I think 'quirky' is just the phrase used within polite company.

And, I don't want to go back to Hull by the way. And, er... try the bacon fries.

Oh yeah, there's a website full of this old bobbins, although some of it is a fair bit out of date. Link's below.

Anybody who describes me as a Chesney Hawkes lookalike will find themselves blocked instantly, so don't do it, it's not big - and it's not clever!

Splendid. Err... right, you can bugger off somewhere else now.