Dear Managing Director,

Thank you ever so slightly for reviewing my credential deficient resume for Conference Room Preservationist position as per advertised on Craigslist.

My indifferent responsibilities included all aspects of fabric and pressboard furniture sales, low-rent merchandise handling, and resolving customer service issues, "yes, you want to put 35.89 yards of the Pubic Hair Woven on reserve, do you what a cutting for approval on that, Madam?"

I wore many hats in snail-paced environments and this has utterly enabled me to successfully handle a multiplicity of schizophrenic tasks. I have worked in call center environments pretending to have an accent and tech support for Dragon Systems, eloquently explaining to customers how to use speech to text software. Ah, you have to reformat my hard drive honey and not the good hard drive either, you sassy beast, you!” Moan...You will also find that I am introverted, needy, disorganized, rodent oriented, and unmotivated. “Telecommunication I did it dude” is my motto all the way, I’ll say!

Thank you very little for your sacrosanct time and I look forward and backward to hearing from you, provided that the chemical reagents in my brain are to snuff, so we can attempt to discuss how my past and future experiences can coalesce so that my multiple personalities and I can best meet your needs.

When the past and future have sex the only present they get is the now.

Insignificant regards,

Hulgatha Doodlesack

P.S. I loathe HDR Photography and mediocre hipster wannabees who think they are artists.

Have an average day!

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    larryosan says:

    "I have worked in a dirty water treatment plant but I can not honestly say I have never seen anything like Hulgatha Doodlesack. That not being said, I can say that his hesitant and trembling hands reach for warm bosomy creatures everywhere.

    Now I can rest easy in the warm safe appendages of constructivist artists who see no need to play it safe in the world that they personally did not invest monetary or fiduciary funds.

    Can you dig it, Hulgatha can!!!!"

    26th March, 2009

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    Sekitar (away til march) says:

    "enormous creative artist and photographer, it's a pleasure to look at your photostream!"

    30th November, 2008

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    a l e x . k says:

    "Each of Degenitalization's photos is amazing"

    3rd November, 2008

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    issac1226 says:

    "He is a seagull in a ocean of mediocrity"

    14th February, 2007

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    DAH 76 says:

    "You are a PhotoShop genius!"

    16th November, 2006

Joined:
April 2005
Hometown:
Milwaukee
Occupation:
Coal Miner