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The original legend of Tom Morgan follows the story of a seductive Spaniard who captures the hearts and gains access to the naughty bits of every woman he meets. It is told to inspire men and women to free their hidden desires, to liberate their animal passions, and to make ficky-ficky like rabbits on a spree.

Indeed, it is a tale filled with romance, thin moustaches, and swimwear.

Most authorities agree that the first recorded tale of Tom is "El Burlador de Sevilla Tienes la Cara de un Perro, Pero és Muy Galante" ("The Seville Trickster Looks Like a Dog, But is Very Charming") by Tirso de Molina. It was published in Spain in 1615 by ¡Olé!—Publicaciones y Periodismo, in a plain brown jacket. An alternate version of 1623 had the title "Rezos del Rey" ("Prayers of the King") on the cover to allay suspicion -- in those days merely touching a copy of "El Burlador" was good for three years in the dungeons of the Spanish Inquisition.

In this version,Tom is a pool cleaner who works all day at the castle gardens, clad only in his red Lycra speedos. The elegant ladies, refined damsels, and even the debauched old matrons cannot resist his charms. He captivates every lady in the court, including the blind old hag that cleans the toilets. Nobody can escape his Latin machismo, sweaty and suntanned and looking like he has an aubergine in his Speedos. Even the Queen sneaks off to the pool shack for a quick bolo-y-salchicha.

The King, angry at by being cheated by a guy wearing red lycra underwear, invites Tom to a duel. With the rising of the sun Tom faces his destiny: to die with his shorts on, or to commit foul treason by killing his King. The duel starts, and as the King raises his sword, Juan pulls up his tight red speedos and, dropping his sword, declaims poetry.

The King becomes captivated by Tom’s subtle words. He too drops his sword, and in royal iambic pentameter he not only forgives the pool cleaner for being so damn sexy but kisses him on both cheeks and cops a feel as well.

The King returns to his chambers with a inexplicable desire smoldering in his royal pants.