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JohntheFinn entered the field of writing as an impoverished poet in London in the early 1970s, where he discovered free partying was available every weekend if he joined a demonstration. In the ensuing months he marched against a variety of social ills, as a result of which he was the subject of an investigation by Special Branch (“we don’t know who this guy is, but he’s obviously a hardcore agitator”). He was also a member of the Clapham Poetry Ring, where he advanced rapidly to the post of Vice Ring Leader.
In the mid-1970s JtF moved to Finland, where he was the subject of an investigation by the Finnish Security Police. He was a frequent visitor at the American embassy, where a disco was held every Friday night, as a result of which he was the subject of a CIA investigation. He also started making frequent visits to then Soviet Estonia, as a result of which he was the subject of a KGB investigation, and formed a distant but persistent acquaintanceship with the red-bearded dwarf sent to shadow him from bar to bar in Tallinn.
John keeps on his wall a framed certificate signed by the President of Finland to prove he is a Finn, and in a locked box he keeps a certificate proving he is sane.
John earns his living as a fully qualified cunning linguist, and he is taking therapy for his habit of referring to himself in the third person singular.