Hysterical Bertha's photostream  

I'm Male, 30 and Scrumptious.

Quote of the week:
Do dubm. - Me. My favorite IM typo ever.

Previous quotes of the week:
"I think it's always better to receive a dead frog that's seen the world." - Me, discussing with D'Arcy whether she should send a dead frog to Foxy Lady direct from eBay, or have it mailed to D'Arcy in New York first, so she can take some glamour shots of it.

That was the maybe the best burn of 2005. -D'Arcy, upon hearing me tell The Lord "You'd better run and find 'You Okay?' and tell him NO.'

I am in a relationship with a man that travels with a feather duster in a trunk-Darcy

"Did I tell you about how I almost got kicked out of the DMV for having too much fun with a gay gangsta and an 82 year old Indian man? - Darcy, starting a story. I do love how Darcy starts stories.

"And come on. If ya gunna suka punch that bad, give the full 2%" -D'Arcy, commenting on the fact that the raise I got for moving from Designer to Senior Designer was 1.9%

"His father's brother was a Lord due to some event with sugar"-D'Arcy, speaking of The Lord's lineage.

"What are the odds that a Willy and a Regina would be friends?"-Jen and me(!) in perfect unison

"Sorry. I get tired, and then I get dry-humpy."-Simon

"Thank God Whitney Houston has money. If not, she'd just be sitting on the corner scratching her sores." -Robin Quivers on her opinion of Whitney Houston after watching Being Bobby Brown
"darcy is who we all want to be"
vs.
"bertha is a single mexican woman from hermosillo"-Googlism for Darcy vs. Bertha (her nickname for me). I think I lose.
"Oh girl, u ain't right. I ain't got no milk up in my house!"–Edgar, showing his not-especially-supportive hypothetical response to the unplanned pregnancy of a friend

"The Egg chair is like an aging woman. As it ages it sags and gets wrinkly. But at least it is softer." –Darcy's boss

"She was getting on my last nerves, my reserve nerves. The nerves I keep in storage for people that I don't have to deal with all the time." –Latricia, contestant on I Want to be a Hilton