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marriage is something that scared the hell out of me once especially when it went very wrong...never thought i'd do it again but after living with mandy for 14 years last year we decided to 'get hitched' and i can honestly say i've never been happier...
Posted 37 months ago.
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Is the fear of marriage (I duno what about it) same in men and women alike?
Posted 37 months ago.
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Marriage is so good that one time is not enough... :-)
Posted 37 months ago.
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... a union of two built on compromise.
Posted 37 months ago.
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... a living thing that changes every day, every year. A beautiful relationship that I have with my wonderful wife.
Posted 37 months ago.
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a gamble. a risk. a commitment. the ultimate expression of a relationship.
Posted 37 months ago.
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not something that should be thrown away as soon as you are not "in love", meaning you don't have that tingle anymore. It takes work to make it through good times and bad
Posted 37 months ago.
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...a leap of faith, but not only faith in someone else. It's also faith in yourself that you'll be able and willing to put in the necessary work when things get tough.
Posted 37 months ago.
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....100/100. Most people think marriage is 50/50--it's not.
A marriage requires both parties to give 100% of each other not just 1/2.
Doing this you have a strong, loving and lasting marriage that can handle everything that life throws at it.
:)
Posted 37 months ago.
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a start to a completion.
Posted 36 months ago.
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great thread, I just got married after 10 yrs of living together...
thought it wouldn't make much of a difference but it does! so much more than just signing your name on a form...I like black_widow2's 100/100, that's it...and hey - you end up with 200%, not bad!
Posted 36 months ago.
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I'd like to try it.
I'm looking for my Topf (od. Decke).
Posted 36 months ago.
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In chinese, there's a proverb that say "Marriage is your tombstone"... :)
Well, I believe it's true~~
Posted 36 months ago.
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One spirit in two bodies..
Posted 36 months ago.
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for me marriage is friendship, i know it isn't for everyone. and i am not trying to throw anything in anyone's face. i wake up next to my best friend every day and i couldn't imagine life any other way.
Posted 36 months ago.
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Pessimists say, "Marriage is like chewing gum. Both of them tastes sugared at beginning and becomes completely tasteless fast. Difference is you can enjoy a number of gums together, buy another pack and throw out gums anytime but cannot do same for marriage."
Posted 36 months ago.
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.. the ultimate in 'fulfillment'
.. or ..
.. 'how 2 becomes 1: a great mystery unveiled'.
Posted 36 months ago.
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"Marriage is not about finding the right person,
marriage is about *being* the right person"
-only problem with that quote is
it really is about *both* people
making the ongoing effort
to be making the marriage work right.
Both people trying to "be" the right person
for their spouse's sake and the sake of their future together.
Posted 36 months ago.
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By Oriah Mountain Dreamer (a Native American Elder)
It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled
and closed from fear of further pain!
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be
careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own
soul.
I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every
day and if you can source your life from God's presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of a lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes"!
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you
have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for the
children.
It doesn't interest me who you are, how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me
and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls
away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly
like the company you keep in the empty moments.
~~~~~~~~
Just celebrated our 36th anniversary, and can attest to the wisdom of these wonderful words to live by.
Posted 36 months ago.
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it is the truth,
holding each other's hand in life,
just be,
be who you are!
Posted 36 months ago.
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Lots of interesting replies here. Kendalia, I especially liked yours. It does require faith in both of you. Crouchingcathiddendog, that is true too. But, at least for us, the tingle never goes away. It definitely fades and ebbs, but after 20 years together, 13 married, we sometimes have more fireworks now than when we first started dating. We are struggling through the death of our nephew right now, and my husband's courage, strength and tenderness have meant so much to me. I wouldn't want to go through this without him, or have him suffer this without me.
Posted 36 months ago.
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I'm not married, never really came close, so I suppose that means I'm in no position to comment. Some might say that I'm too fussy, others that I'm too scared but I don't think either is true. The words offered by Sparky2 were incredibly powerful to me because that's how I feel it should be - Is that just too much to ask? We live in a quick fix disposable society - I don't want my marriage to be a quick fix or disposable and that's why I'd rather not be married at all than married to the wrong person. Having said that, I'm sure it will work out in the end!
Posted 36 months ago.
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Trapac, I agree with you 100%. I have had friends who were always eager to get married, and that was something really foreign to me. My dh and I got married because it was a natural outgrowth of our relationship, and we just couldn't live without the other one. But marriage for its own sake seems strange, and those I know who have married because being married was their goal have not had the best marriages, at least from what they've shared with me.
Posted 35 months ago.
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We will be married 28 years next month. Love, laughter, tears, loud voices, more tears, more laughter, more love... We made a deal with each other when we first knew we wanted to be together. One one person in the relationship was allowed to be crazy at a time. So far, we've held to that. If one of us feels the weight of our problems is too heavy and we need to have a melt down, the other bucks up and give hugs and love. Works so far. I'll let you know how the next 28 years go.
Posted 35 months ago.
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why get married? Me and my partner have been together for 14 years and we never bothered with a wedding.
Posted 35 months ago.
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I am married since 33 years, and I think that is very important in my life because I believe in the family. The marriage help very much to safe the family
Posted 35 months ago.
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Marriage is...
"...and now, stop wasting your time with that camera!"
^_^
Posted 35 months ago.
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A modest proposal: Having been married once for 7 years (in love, but mostly because I didn't know what to do with my life) and now for 22 years, and having observed the Bridal Industry, etc. and weddings ("Your Special Day") getting more and more over the top, I hereby recommend:
When a couple wishes to be married, they are free to do so, BUT there will be no dressing up, flowers, music, and esp. NO GIFTS!!!! until the following conditions are met:
1. 10 years have passed
2. At least one major life change has occurred
3. They have moved furniture together and/or taken a road trip before finding out if either one knew how to read a map and/or was willing to ask for directions. (extra bonus points: they have figured out how to handle Where Do We Go For The Holidays)
4. They have either had children, decided not to have children, or are trying...
5. They have learned that one may criticize one's own parents, but not the parents of the spouse
6. They have seen the spark fade, rekindle, fade, rekindle...
7. They have said (perhaps only to self): "It's a good thing that we truly believe in staying in this marriage and doing the best we can, cause right now...."
8. They could give you a list of the top 10 annoying things their spouse does.
9. They can laugh when they realize that all 10 things were part of the initial attraction...
10. They can, with a fair degree of accuracy, predict what their spouse's list would be, and laugh about that, too.
11. They have already had years of experience supporting themselves & eachother, and therefore will NOT be registering at Target, Bon Wit Tellers, Carnival Cruise Lines, etc.
12. All of the above.
Any other suggestions?
my idea will certainly have an impact on the divorce rate, by instantly taking away the all-too-human desire to dress up pretty & be the center of attention.
Posted 35 months ago.
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Marriage!! Hmm..I don't know what can I say about it..
I remember once having a "nightmare", and waking up crying and feeling scared..cos I saw myself married , and yes, I called it a "nightmare".
I believe that I can only get married when "I need it" and not when " I want it"
Posted 35 months ago.
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Marriage is.....
having a person that's with you even though they are not there.
My husband of 4 years recently left for 18 months. Although I miss his physical presence it feels like he's right next to me every single day.
Posted 35 months ago.
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Getting to be with your best friend for the rest of your life...
Posted 35 months ago.
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i'm enjoyin every bit of this thread. Keep em comin.
Posted 35 months ago.
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divine
Posted 35 months ago.
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A CHALLENGE! :-)
Posted 35 months ago.
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sorry .... I'm sorry to say this ... but from the bottom of my heart, and being divorced and getting over it, feeling alive again ... the boy coming back ... slowly ... marriage is hell!!
I was unlucky ... and have only my self to blame for it!
Posted 35 months ago.
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love, support and tenderness
Posted 35 months ago.
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Marriage is.....not for me.. It is something others are better at than I:-)
Posted 35 months ago.
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Marriage is a huge responsibilites & time managing GAme (:
Posted 35 months ago.
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Marriage is... an endless combination of trust, love, passion, friendship, commitment, compromise, sharing, respect, romance, patience, communication and acceptance...learn to accept the other person for who they are.
Posted 35 months ago.
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marriage is... love and a piece of paper.
Posted 35 months ago.
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Marriage is sharing a life together.
Posted 35 months ago.
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a boot [deleted] says:
marriage is a monstrous challenge and it is a monstrous joy... marriage is a constant challenge. marriage is the yin and yang... it is yelling at one another and at the same time holding one another. it is a time where you have to confront yourself and let your significant other know who you truly are...
Posted 35 months ago.
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Indy Gump [deleted] says:
marriage is trust, hope, love, and commitment
Posted 35 months ago.
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marriage is what you make it you and your spouse alone and together, some people are married and dont know it others are not and think it.... arriage is not a piece of paper
Posted 35 months ago.
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There are so many wonderful truths here.
I think marriage is different for each couple. It is knowing your partners faults and not caring because your's are also forgiven. It is waves of up and down on the emotional scale, but as long as you stay pretty much in the middle and hold hands, you won't drift away. And for me, my heart leaps when I see him.
Posted 35 months ago.
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Finding someone you can truly be yourself with.
Posted 35 months ago.
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Something I've managed to avoid! :)
Posted 35 months ago.
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commitment
Posted 35 months ago.
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suffering through the good and the bad, regardless.
god please bring a swiffter end to this strke?
please.
Posted 35 months ago.
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marriage is an endless walk finding each other. And it starts here:
Posted 35 months ago.
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the selfless sacrifice of a man and woman for eachother
Posted 35 months ago.
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....is sometimes very hard!
Posted 35 months ago.
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... what you make it.
Posted 35 months ago.
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-- from L8o n3LL - (?)
Posted 32 months ago.
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marriage........ after almost 15 years all i can tell him is i married you once DON"T ask me to do it again!!!
Posted 32 months ago.
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Marriage is what makes me complete. I'm very in love with my husband.
Posted 32 months ago.
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Marriage should be where one person steps in to bolster the others weaknesses, and the other is there to support your own. Complementing and completing a whole circle.
Posted 32 months ago.
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is....caring for someone else as if your own life mattered not. Olga is my love, my passion, and my best friend.
Posted 32 months ago.
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never easy..
Posted 32 months ago.
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a sacred relation ship
Posted 32 months ago.
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spending the rest of my life with my best friend.
Posted 32 months ago.
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I added this to the love group.
We just celebrated 20 years, this year.
I got asked in a job interview where I wanted to be in 5 years time so I said (amongst other things) "Celebrating my 25th year of marriage!" - it was not quite the answer they expected, I also added seeing my children graduate, selling some of my pics - and (very boringly) enjoying my job.
A peom that means a lot to us...
Accidents of Birth
Spared by a car- or airplane-crash or
cured of malignancy, people look
around with new eyes at a newly
praiseworthy world, blinking eyes like these.
For I've been brought back again from the
fine silt, the mud where our atoms lie
down for long naps. And I've also been
pardoned miraculously for years
by the lava of chance which runs down
the world's gullies, silting us back.
Here I am, brought back, set up, not yet
happened away.
But it's not this random
life only, throwing its sensual
astonishments upside down on
the bloody membranes behind my eyeballs,
not just me being here again, old
needer, looking for someone to need,
but you, up from the clay yourself,
as luck would have it, and inching
over the same little segment of earth-
ball, in the same little eon, to
meet in a room, alive in our skins,
and the whole galaxy gaping there
and the centuries whining like gnats --
you, to teach me to see it, to see
it with you, and to offer somebody
uncomprehending, impudent thanks.
William Meredith (Jan 9th, 1919)
Originally posted 32 months ago.
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art assci(paul) edited this topic 32 months ago.
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beautiful!!!!
Posted 32 months ago.
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Mariage was created to help you get back on your feet everytime you happen to fall. I you find the "right" person. I believe I found him. :-)
Posted 32 months ago.
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..awwwe! Thank you for sharing that beautiful poetry piece, Paul!
.
Posted 32 months ago.
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POSTMODERNA X [deleted] says:
...marriage is giving up your freedom,to share moments in time...
Posted 32 months ago.
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is getting overexposed!
Posted 32 months ago.
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..I have it on good authority, FlickrJunkie, that 'overexposure' is on the upswing in popularity, especially around here..
Posted 32 months ago.
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marriage is half of your imaan (faith)
Posted 32 months ago.
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marriage is...
good, if you still get butterflies when that car drives in the driveway or you see your other half smiling at you from across the room after 15 years.
bad, if you feel lonely in the same room together after 17 years.
I have felt both in my life. I am happy to say that it is much better the second time around in my case. The first was a dry run.
Posted 30 months ago.
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Marriage is........?
How can you possibly explain the unexplainable? Or even go close.
Marriage is ...... hard work. Yet at the same time it can be the most rewarding thing in the world. It has pitfalls galore, and yet the bonuses are exceptional. Its a totally different mindset, an opportuntity to think of another before yourself, yet also be confident that you are the sole focus of someone else thoughts ..... there is comfort in that.
I love you Splinter, more than (and different to) when we were young.
Posted 30 months ago.
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so exciting. because here in the uk gay couples can now legally get married, and I didn't realise how much it would mean to me, until it was possible. I've been together with my partner for over 10 years, to all intents and purposes we have been married to each other for all that time. but to stand up in front of friends and family, and have friends and work people and our lovely flickrfriends all be so happy for us - well it meant the world to me.
Posted 30 months ago.
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something I haven't thought about.. it's scary..
Knautia, all the best to you and your partner!
Posted 30 months ago.
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Hearty Congrats!, Sarah (Knautia) and Vik !!!!
The Marriage Registration
The Wedding Jump!
L8o n3LL
xoxoxox
Originally posted 30 months ago.
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L8o (a group admin) edited this topic 30 months ago.
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diana061 [deleted] says:
Not in my future.....
Posted 30 months ago.
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Marriageiest!!!
Posted 30 months ago.
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**stellarr** [deleted] says:
a lifelong journey with your best friend...
a love so strong...
a hope for the future...
a prayer still needed to be answered...
Posted 30 months ago.
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Dancing with your love as if no one else is around. ^_^
© John Heredia Photography
_05 March 2k5
Originally posted 29 months ago.
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+kdis edited this topic 29 months ago.
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Beauty might not last forever.
But love does.
Originally posted 29 months ago.
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Olivander (a group admin) edited this topic 29 months ago.
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... hard work... something that needs to be stressed... GODDAM HARD WORK
Originally posted 29 months ago.
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Zulpha edited this topic 29 months ago.
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Something special that can be beautiful or something stressfull that can be something thats just not for you! If you want marraige, be willing to do what it takes!
Posted 29 months ago.
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an incredible freedom! Being able to marry the person you love is something not to be taken for granted. 1,138 state and federal rights, benefits and protections is something else not to take for granted. Heterosexual couples are automatically given these protections, but in the U.S., same-sex couples are not. We all deserve the freedom to marry! Congratulations Knautia in the U.K.! I look forward to the day when same-sex couples in the U.S. are not considered second-class citizens. www.freedomtomarry.tv
Posted 29 months ago.
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Archie Pix [deleted] says:
an 8 letter word.
Posted 29 months ago.
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Marriage is...being blessed to share your lives together as one with your soulmate...through thick and thin, growing emotionally & spiritually together, respecting and loving one another til death do you part, feeling peace and total contentment with your spouse inside your heart and knowing you are truly blessed in this sacred marriage~Happy Valentines Day~
Posted 29 months ago.
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.....Is losing half of yourself when your other half passes away.
Originally posted 29 months ago.
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dediva edited this topic 29 months ago.
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Putting someone else's wants above yours...and hoping that it is returned
Posted 29 months ago.
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living and sharing with a friend.
Posted 29 months ago.
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Marriage is a collection of love, lust, laughter, tears, friendship, companionship, partnership, commaraderie, learning, togetherness and self discovery. Wisdom discovered after 30 years of our union. There are no end to the discoveries yet to unfold. Looking forward to more....
Posted 29 months ago.
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my first response, without reading the posts...
marraige is: so much more than I thought. my greatest joy and ache, where I find support and security.
Posted 29 months ago.
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overrated.
Posted 29 months ago.
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Marriage is: Love, Tenderness,open communication and hard work...I wouldn't change a thing.
Posted 29 months ago.
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Posted 29 months ago.
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Marriage is...
Be together;
Toward to the same direction;
Keep going and going and......
Originally posted 29 months ago.
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Frances Fu edited this topic 29 months ago.
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living out God's plan together
Posted 29 months ago.
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Marriage is the reward of finally getting to spend my life with someone I had a long-distance (5,000 miles) relationship with for years ... it is also tough but worth it, and has saved my life and given me hope I would not have had otherwise. I learn something new every day.
Originally posted 29 months ago.
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rainspoo edited this topic 29 months ago.
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A good marriage is hard work.
Posted 29 months ago.
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Being there for each other.
Learning to meet each others needs.
Replacing selfish demands with thoughtful requests
Learning to listen to each other.
Conversation.
Affection.
Not being judgmental
Posted 29 months ago.
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So far a 25 year sentence!
Posted 29 months ago.
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Something that one should only get into with absolutely no shadow of a doubt.
Posted 29 months ago.
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A wonderful thing and the best decision I ever made. (Although not for everyone) Found this in DC on top of a public phone.
Posted 29 months ago.
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