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Photographic Editing Offences [PHOENIX] |
Group Pool 1,045 items | Only members can add to the pool. Join?
ArchedRoof (a group admin) says:
19 Apr 09 - --
Q: Should I be offended by Photographic Editing Offences?
A: Of course not. We've all been there, we've all sinned at some point. This is a place for forgiveness.
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Q: What happened to the original Photographic Editing Offences group?
A: It was shut down by the admin at Flickr because ONE person complained.
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Q: I don't shave my pubic region. Can I still join?
A: No.
19 Apr 09 - --
Q: Should I be offended by Photographic Editing Offences?
A: Of course not. We've all been there, we've all sinned at some point. This is a place for forgiveness.
--
Q: What happened to the original Photographic Editing Offences group?
A: It was shut down by the admin at Flickr because ONE person complained.
--
Q: I don't shave my pubic region. Can I still join?
A: No.
Discussion 178 posts | Only members can post. Join? |
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About Photographic Editing Offences [PHOENIX]---===',','THE BLOG',','===---   The PEO music video. Photographs that are entered and accepted into the group pool will need forgiveness. Below are some examples of text that disciples and patrons may wish to use when commenting on the travesties. Copy and paste the whole text including the brackets etc. ================================= EXAMPLES OF FORGIVENESS TEXT: 1. <B> Blessed are thee who ask forgiveness for thy editing transgressions. Walk tall, my child, for thou shalt no longer be ashamed. ( www.flickr.com/groups/peo ) </B> 2. <B> Thank you for admitting your sins and washing them away in the group pool.... You are now cleansed of your photographic editing offences. If you feel any of your fellow photographic souls may need cleansing then, please direct them to our cause at www.flickr.com/groups/peo </B> 3. <B> I can see a clear violation of a range of disgusting PEOs. However, in light of your recent addition to the Photographic Editing Offences ( www.flickr.com/groups/peo ) you are now free to walk amongst the barley and drink more rum. </B> 4. <B> *SIMPLY STUNNED AT THE AWFUL ABOMINATION THAT IS THE EDiTING IN THIS PHOTO!* Well, I admire your courage for submitting this to the Photographic Editing Offences Pool of sin. For your bravery you are absolved of all your dirty little traits and you can feel free once again. ( www.flickr.com/groups/peo ) </B> 5. <B> Oh sweet baby Jesus, what on Earth have you done here. I commend your bravery in submitting this to the photographic offences pool. ( www.flickr.com/groups/peo ) It is truly an abomination, but in light of this act, coming to our cause to repent, you are absolved of all your sins. *is sick a little* </B> 6. <B> The very fact of you being brave enough to confess and repent your sins by posting this sparkling example of PEO into the pool is a sign of change that may come to you eventually or rapidly in the nearest future. You are hereby granted an official forgiveness from this humble disciple. ( www.flickr.com/groups/peo ) </B> 7. <b> My eyes! Aaaaarggggh!!! They are burning from the image i see before me.. But your willingness to seek redemption for your sins by posting your work here ( www.flickr.com/groups/peo ) is worthy of our forgiveness </b> 8. <b>My child, You come to our house of forgiveness with this terrible affliction on your soul. Posting your photograph to the group pool ( www.flickr.com/groups/peo ) is the most sincere act of redemption and shall be honoured in such ways. Your abomination has been cast in stone and forever more will be left hanging as a reminder to future sinners. Walk tall now child, for thou art free. </b> THE OFFENCES 1. Framing The process of putting a few extra pixels and lines around your digital image to add 'impact.' 2. Watermarks The needless rape of a photograph because the photographer is big headed enough to believe someone will come and steal his/her photo to profit from it. 3. Selective Colouring The process of converting an image to monochrome, but leaving one element coloured, such as a tram, or lady in a red dress. 4. The Flood Filter A Photoshop plugin introduced a few years ago that everyone went crazy for. Everything for about a year was submerged in perfectly generated rippled water. 5. Highly Overprocessed HDR The latest new FAD... HDR techniques have been around for over 100 years (Yes they have.) But overprocessed tone mapping nonsense from the likes of Photomatix users are all the rage right now. 6. Fake Polaroid Frame Can't find any Polaroid film? Doesn't matter... Fake it and pretend you're an instant film master. 7. Out of Focus Macros. (BOKEH) Many thanks to Arty: "Out of focus macros. (You call it bokeh, I call it bollocks. You're supposed to INCREASE the depth of field with close-ups, not leave half the critter/leaf out of focus)." 8. Tilt and Shift Fakes. Very simple post processing involving blurring a major part of a photograph (usually one overlooking a street.) The selective blurring appears as a shallow depth of field, to give it the photo the appearance of looking like a minature model village. 9. Fake film frames around Digital photographs (similar to #6) 10. Black and White Street Photography "It's 2009 ffs."(Thank you Arty.) 11. Being a smug wanker/ Purists and Ludites and intentional attacks on photographers artistic explorations.Thank you Goneforawonder Guilty! 12. TTV (Through the viewfinder.) As Macredeye says.. "why?" It is basically a photo of what you see when looking through a camera viewfinder. If you want to do it you'll need a small lens. I find my cameraphone does the trick. 13. Cloning yourself / Multiplicity Keep your camera on a tripod and take 10 pictures of yourself looking like a twat in different positions. Use each file to clone yourself in layer after layer. That'll make you look cool won't it? 14. The Orton Effect. The original technique invented by Michael Orton was to overlay two or more images of an identical scene with very different exposures on slide film. One image is sharply focused and the others are very out of focus. Alex.Dram points out that he cannot find a reasonable need for it's existence. (Yes I tried it once too.) 15. Supreme Lack of Subject Matter thank you Wiseacre for this edition. He states that: my personal peeve with any of these techniques isn't the techniques (or gimmicks), but the supreme lack of subject matter. Bokeh is fine, but of lights, raindrops, a leaf -- anyone with a 50mm and able to set their camera correctly can do that. 16. Attempting to digitally recreate an originally unpredictable effect in a very deliberate way. You've got a brand new digital camera, it takes 40Mp pictures. You have a £1200 lens... Yet you process your photos to make them look like you took them with a £5 Holga. 17. Light trails. ahh, how cute. You've learnt long exposures and you've had this great and original thought of going to the local motorway overpass with your tripod and taking a photo of all the red and white lights whizzing passed. Guess what? It's not original. 18. Lens Flare Now I can't believe I left this off the list. It's perhaps the oldest gimmick on photoshop/psp/corel. Tacky lens flare added to photos creating a little sparkle with faded lines all over the picture. Such beauty! 19. Standard full photo filters Hmm... My photo looks crap. How about if I press this buttom. *BOOM* It's embossed! Or suddenly looks like an impressionist painting, or has the effect of fur or leather or.... 20. Planetoids Ooh look at this lovely landscape. Best turn it into a planet. Oh not just here though. I'm going to do one EVERYWHERE I GO. Planet, planet planet all day long. Click here to see, but beware, you may end up carving out your own eyes with a spoon. 21. View On Black "Oh god, yeah. That's probably worse than putting a black frame round a photo. If I want to view something on black, I'll print it out and shove it up my arse." Thank you. 22. Photographers who think they are poets All thanks to Jamalrob for suggesting this travesty. Such titles on photographs as "True beauty lies within" or "I stopped, I stared, I wondered, as I walked through my placid life" .... on a LANDSCAPE photograph. Grow up you pretentious.... 23. Listening to Jazz While Editing Your Photos A serious offence. May lead to any of the above being reproduced. 24. Cutting the corners off Why? Have I missed some health and safety b*ll*cks? Do I need to put on a Hi-Viz vest before I go into photoshop. Will I take "someones eye out wi that"? 25. Out of Frame OMFG WTF LOOK! I'm stepping OUT-OF-THE-FRAME. Man, I am SO awesome. 26. Panoramic stitch togethers ANYTHING... and I mean anything, that ends up as a gimmick that can be used with a mobile phone is a dreadful offence. 27. Immaculate skin "...portraits with the skin blurred softened into oblivion. Like seeing pores will kill you. instantly." Thank you. 28. Oversharpening Anyone who goes to a camera club will understand the fact that since digital photography started popping up... so did oversharpening. It's the sick practise of taking an out of focus photo and jacking up every sharpening filter to FIX it. This offence comes with a 3 year ban on digital cameras. 29. Dropshadow/Buttonise ...Or ANYTHING that makes your photo look like it's jumping off the screen. Creating the illusion that your photo is a 3D work of art is a processing crime. If it's a good photo, it won't need it! 30. Texture Layers Why must you insist on taking another photo of crumbly plaster and using it to take a dump on another photo? Layers of any type of texture are big and not clever. A bit like stupid dwarfs. 31. Infrared Conversion Crappy landscape? Convert to B+W... still looks crap? Convert to infrared... oooh... look... it glows.... pretty 32. Cropping Just because you've got a camera that shoots @ 30Megapixel does not mean you can get lazy about filling up the full frame. Get it right first time and remember "crop is crap." 33. ATTEMPTING TO BE CLEVER This is ABSOLUTELY unacceptable. There is to be no freedom of thought allowed in any photo editing. Here at Flickrschwitz we like minimal curve adjustment and colour correction ONLY. Anything else and vee shall av u tekkin owt zide and zhot! 34. Fractalius More like syphilis. Take any boring old picture and turn it into some kind of light drawing that will make you want to scratch out your own eyes with a rusty fork. Needless vandalism on your photos. 35. Drink/Drugs While Editing As demonstrated by many of the thread posters including www.flickr.com/photos/alexdram/, JAMALROB, BLUEBOY & GONEFORAWANDER this may lead to any of the above offences being commited or even worse, topic posts that you may regret in the morning. 36. Straight from my mobile phone and I'm proud of it. Grow up. Nobody cares. 37. BHL Gimmicks The never ending camel ride that is BIG HUGE LABS. This is not easy to approach. Everything and anything is available here. It's where View on Black (#21) comes from... Turn your photo into a billboard or a jigsaw. Create instant works of art. This site is photography's version of the Garden of Eden. Please... PLEASE... DO NOT EAT THE FUCKING APPLE. 38. Warholizer So you think you're Andy Warhol do you? Think that you'd look cool/retro/kitsch/chic if you were multiplied and changed into psychodelic colours? You don't. You look like a prat. Just one of you in the correct colour is enough. 39. Portrait Dumping Grounds Take your boring portraits and jazz them up using a vile uploading process online. Yersinia alerted us to these ever growing ghastly websites of photo destruction. Such sites as DUMPR or PHOTOFUNIA are trainwrecks and need to be cleaned up. 40. Vignetting Why? You bought a digital camera to get rid of this common film problem. Don't fake it and pretend you're an artist. You little cheat, you. 41. NOT Cropping Throwing away or leaving as suboptimal a potentially good shot just because you've confused Cartier-Bresson with God. 42. Abnormally Large Moon Layering a telephoto, way-out-of-proportion moon into a wide angle night landscape. This isn't science fiction. This isn't a Disney film. This is photography, stop messing about, before I confiscate ur 300mm that rattles. 43. Retitle your photo to "Untitled" This one struck a nerve in our new GROUP. Not bothering to retitle your picture from the camera file name ie. DSC_0272.jpg is one thing, but actually being so self absorbed that you retiltle your crappy little picture of an abandoned bike in the snow "UNTITLED" is pure blasphemy. A sure sign that the world is coming to an end. 44. Amazing Circles I've just been holding my head in my hands thinking about what to write about these. I started crying actually. This role of documenting these offences is getting a little too much. Just... Erm... Just... Take a look for yourself.... 45. Making a David Hockney Taking many photographs of one person and arranging them in a neo-Cubist manner like David Hockney. You twit. Take a look at these dumb attempts named Picasso Portraits. 46. Triptych This gross act of indecency is indulged only by the slightly more pretentious artist/photographers out there... Who want to tell a story with their photos. This is usually the result of all 3 photos being crap. 47. Mosaic I seem to remember, sometime around eight years ago there was a star wars poster, made up of thousands of time movie stills from star wars in a kind of mosaic. THAT WAS EIGHT YEARS AGO. IT'S TACKY AND OVER DONE. MOVE ON LOSER. THE OLD PEO GROUP STATS: 17th March - 241 sinners, 124 offending articles. 24th March - 282 sinners, 200 offending articles. 31st March - 313 sinners, 253 offending articles. 7th April - 332 sinners, 294 offending articles. 15th April - 349 sinners, 315 offending articles. ~ terminated on 19th April with 369 sinners. PEO [PHOENIX] 19th April - 49 sinners, 54 offending articles. 26th April - 254 sinners, 177 offending articles. 3rd May - 275 sinners, 215 offending articles. 10th May - 287 sinners, 236 offending articles. 24th May - 299 sinners, 275 offending articles. 31st May - 308 sinners, 313 offending articles. |
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