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Putting the Peices Back Together
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I just lost my mother-in-law Sunday,Dec. 16th, She has been battling cancer for the last three years, she faught and faught this terable desize and the cancer had spread to quickly even with the kemo and raderation but she never gave up. To every one out there that is going through this or has a loved one going through this , stay with them, let them know you are there and tell them every day that you love them and support them. When the Breast Cancer turned to terminal cancer we never let one day go by that she never missed "I Love You" and I beleive that that helped her for the next two years that we had together... and I know that she is proud of us and she is still with us....
"We Love You Mom......Love Your Kids.....
Posted at 2:36PM, 20 December 2007 PDT
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I am so terribly sorry for your loss.
Posted 54 months ago.
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It is a nice thing to think that all those 'I love you's' fueled her life for the next two years......I like that.
Posted 54 months ago.
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I have this theory that dying is very much mental. Obviously there are a lot of physical things that cause death, but mental control can keep people hanging on despite many difficulties. I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm sure the many mentions of "I Love You" helped her hold on until the very end, and when she left she did it because she was ready. My mother passed away in June. She held on for a very long time. She had breast cancer twice during my childhood, but that's not what she died of. The treatments were really hard on her, and in addition to the failing of her liver and other diseases it was a miracle she lived as long as she did.
Although I'm really young (17) I've learned that the easiest way to cope with someone's death is not by accepting it. I find it impossible to accept that I will never hear my mom speak again. Instead I make peace with the idea, I allow that concept to exist as long as I know that somehow it is what she wanted. Granted this only works in some cases of death. I've written multiple letters to her as well. If you or anyone in your family is having a hard time expressing what they are feeling tell them to write a letter to her, you may feel silly at first for doing it but within a few sentences you'll be glad you did it.
Posted 54 months ago.
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I want to take a moment and tell each of you "Thank You " for your time to write back and how much I do appreciate it , it does mean a lot that other people out there do care even if if is for someone that they dont know and I still talk to her and she talks to me and my husband and we are both doing better now even though we all miss her and will continue to do so but I know through time the loss will ease.... thanks again... to all of you.
Christine, in Texas
Posted 54 months ago.
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I didn't see this before. I'm so sorry you lost your mil. I love mine to bits, and would miss her terribly, even though she lives 500 miles away.
Posted 54 months ago.
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I am sorry for your loss, I too lost my mom 4 years ago to breast cancer, my family kept her in her home and we cared for, she was surrounded by people who loved her very much. I spent the most time with her and always told her how much I loved her as well as her family. It is sad to loose someone like your parent, but with time it does get easier. I keep my mom close to my heart and chat with her in my prayers. Take care
Posted 54 months ago.
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biancayvonne, I am so sorry for your loss. How difficult it must be to suffer such a loss at such a young age. You seem like a very mature, compassionate, wise young woman.... I am sure your mother would be very proud of you.
Originally posted 54 months ago.
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cookielady0000 edited this topic 54 months ago.
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cshifter, I'm sorry for your loss as well.... it's very difficult to lose a loved one at any time....i know this all too well. I am happy to hear that you said so many "I love you's" I say this to all my family members each and every time we call each other (which is every day) or visit each other.... it is so important to hear and to say.
Posted 54 months ago.
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I am very sorry for your loss, it is very hard to lose a loved one, I have lost both of my parents(BTW: my Mom's birthday was the 16th), and my wife just lost her mother. You are absolutely correct when you give love and make sure that the loved ones know that they are well loved and appreciated. Knowing that you have done this will be a great comfort in the coming years. Also be comforted by the fact that you were able to do this. I know of too many people who never see or express their love to those dearest to them, then a sudden death occurrs, then there are regrets and guilt. I guess the lesson here is to keep in touch and express your love freely to those that mean the most to you.
Our sympathy with you.
Marge
Posted 54 months ago.
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Hi there everyone..... Even if your loved one's are gone or if they are still with you....Remember...never say good bye... say" see you later", and allways say... "I LOVE YOU!"...I have made this a habbit, and I am so glad I have because I know My Loved Ones Are Still With Me.
And I am giong to make sure this is going to be a good year.
Posted 54 months ago.
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When I went through my breast cancer ordeal in 2005 (which doesn’t end when the treatment ends), my daughter, who was born exactly one month after I turned 20 years old and whom I often say we grew up together, took charge and lifted the burden of the minutiae from me--I was amazed at her strength.. My son, who is very different from my daughter, kept me joking and laughing, which was the way I needed to handle the situation.
But when my friend died in June 2007 of breast cancer, I broke down completely. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her and I don’t believe I will ever be able to accept it. Just yesterday I went by the park where her memorial service was held. There was a group there who meet to do outdoor oil paintings, and I stopped to tell one of the artists that I just wanted him to know that they were painting in a spiritual area--some of my friend’s ashes were put in the stream there.
So how to put the pieces back together? In my experience you don’t--you can’t. I had to head down another path where none of the old pieces exist. Today was my son’s 32nd birthday--I told him he was one of the joys of my life (I think he already knew). We had gone to see a very good movie, but it was intensely disturbing. When I came home and set my coat on a chair in front of my shelves, my eyes hit upon one of the photos of my granddaughter--the only grandchild I will have--and a weight lifted from me.
Yet, as I wrote, and what this thread is about--putting the pieces back together--I’ve had to try to create new pieces to carry me through. And despite everything, and everything that may come, I wouldn’t trade places with anyone. With the people I love in my life, I’m a most fortunate woman. “cshift,” I have a feeling that your mother-in-law felt the same--you carried her through, and she was a most fortunate woman because love is the richest commodity we have, and the richest commodity we can give. You have my best wishes.
P.S. When I was pregnant with my first child, my daughter, I went to an appointment with the obstetrician. I walked in, stomach big and rounded, carrying a crash helmet under my arm because my only means of transportation was a motorcycle. You should have seen the doctor’s face!
Posted 53 months ago.
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I just wanted to say to everyone, you all have my best wishes. We are all in the same boat--"LIFE"--and we survive the best we know how. We're all improvising, because, as far as we know, this is our first trip through and we don't really know what we're doing. Good luck to all.
Posted 53 months ago.
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Sewoodhull , i bet your doctor had a great look on her face! "Awesome" ...I hope you are doing better now... and you have my prayers, I know its hard on anyone who is going through this or knows anyone someone who is but we never know what life is going to throw at us and thats hard but some how we manage it the best we can . At the Church that we attend they have a support group there and me and my husband are signing up to attend "Copping with a lost loved one" and we'll see if that will help , but if any one out there is havibg a rough time I feel that talking about it does help and talk to any one ,or find a support group and see if it helps, like you said we are lost and we dont know what else is going to be handed to us.
Take care and keep your head up, remember we are never alone!
Posted 53 months ago.
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I'm so sorry for your loss!
I lost my dad to cancer last year, and sometimes I don't feel 16 but way older, because the process of saying goodbye to him, for 2 and a half years, has made me older, mentally, then I would've been had he still been alive.
I want to wish everyone who's dealing with death or cancer in anyway, the best of everything.
Posted 53 months ago.
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Canon T1i pro sayes:
"I'm really very sorry about your loss" :(
Originally posted 50 months ago.
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dkfjri_aksl edited this topic 34 months ago.
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Canon G10 pro said:
i'm too sory :(
Posted 45 months ago.
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This is a wonderful group I just stumbled upon. So many people have lived or are living with this horrible disease. I am so very sorry for all the lives this awful disease has taken from us. For the people who are survivors, congrats to you for beating it!
My mother was inflicted with breast cancer while I was in highschool, many years later she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She survived both. One year ago September 1st we lost her to another terible disease, which has gone undiagnosed even after autopsy. It was related to Alzhiemers and Madcow.
I miss you Mom. May you rest in peace!!
Posted 45 months ago.
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Hi Christine I'm sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. Be strong and pray for her. Someday sooner or later we all have to face loss of our loved ones either due to illness or natural death. I believe we just need to accept God's decision and pray for His love towards our loved ones.
Posted 42 months ago.
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