Gallivanting Bert

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About Gallivanting Bert

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." —Charles Caleb Colton

Another Flickr group, Globetrotting Ernie, recently piqued my interest. It is the photographic repository of a Pez dispenser's international exploits. The group's founder, snowdog101, declared, "My Ernie Pez dispenser has had enough of the big city… he'd like to get out there and see the world," and ceremoniously sent Ernie off to his first exotic locale. Hundreds of pictures have subsequently been taken of Ernie enjoying numerous fun activities and sights with his hosts in various geographic locations. Globetrotter, indeed.

What of Bert, though? While Ernie has always been a carefree dreamer with a penchant for fun, Bert has contentedly been the grounded realist holding the relationship together. Balancing the checkbook, buying the groceries, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, washing the dishes, etc. It is no wonder Bert has a reputation for melancholy.

Utilizing the Wi-Fi hotspot at Hooper's Store, Bert periodically viewed Ernie's travelogue and was vicariously thrilled at Ernie's adventures in Oklahoma, Nashville, Seattle, and even Canada. After five months, eleven ports of call, and nary a word from Ernie, though, Bert was at his wit's end; the basement apartment on Sesame Street never before seemed so boring and lonely.

After acquainting ourselves in a Pez chat room, I invited Bert to stay awhile with me. I promised to introduce him to my friends, show him the local attractions, and otherwise help him have a good time. "You may not be traveling around the world, Bert," I said, "but there's a lot in Central Illinois to distract you from Ernie and his absence." Convinced, Bert scribbled a note on the dry erase board for Ernie, left the keys to the apartment with Prairie Dawn, purchased a first class ticket to PIA, and waved goodbye to Sesame Street forever.