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The pose is nice, as is the quality of light and DoF. The eyes definitely draw me in. What bugs me is the direction of the light. If it were from above her head at the same degree, you'd likely get a nice Rembrandt effect.
As far as cropping, I think a bit off of the bottom. Currently, her face is only 1/2 of the total height of the image.
Also, her head is turned just a tad too much ... which is taking some 'punch' away from the eyes. It's not too bad, but if her head were just a bit more towards the camera, I think it would improve it by having whites on both sides of the irises.
Overall, very well done for not really having done them before.
Originally posted 82 months ago.
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Neil Bernhart [dextr] edited this topic 82 months ago.
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The color is a little off, causing the skin tone to look a little orange. Also, her face and neck are little over exposed. Maybe turn into B+W will fix the issue.
Posted 82 months ago.
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i hate to be the guy to do this, but i think the focus on her right eye is a bit soft. there was something that bothered me about it, so i looked at it in the large size (you've got a nice stream, btw) and i noticed that her left eye is nice and crisp, but her right eye and cheek are a little soft. considering that her eyes lead you over to that side of her face, you might want to try and reshoot.
i like the DOF that you've used to seperate her face from her body, and i like the color of the shirt you chose her her, as it works well with her skin tones, without being distracting; keep those aspects. i might try reshooting it to get the focus fixed, and i would try to keep that hair on the left side of her face away from her eye. it's a little distracting.
good shot though.
Posted 82 months ago.
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I am not usually keen on this viewpoint - unless there is good reason why not shoot from a level similar or lower than your subject - (to give her respect and equality)? Here, however, the downward viewpoint is directed by the window lighting... which is a pretty good reason! That said, I don't find her upper torso particularly relevant to this portrait as it competes for attention. So I would suggest a careful "unistrap" crop to include her neck and collarbone lines and bare shoulder.
Originally posted 82 months ago.
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gaspi *yg edited this topic 82 months ago.
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Alright--did some cropping, here are my results:
As suggested by dextr:
Black & White
Crop suggested by *syzgynick:
Black & White:
@notinponce--I noticed the eye thing too, and I was really disappointed. I guess for right now, I'm just gonna work on what I've got, and maybe sometime in the future I'll reshoot.
Posted 82 months ago.
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I like the colour *syz crop best
Posted 82 months ago.
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Softness of her right eye is indeed a pity...
I rather liked the peach tones of her skin and don't find the bw conversion to be very successful (brighter skin areas are now blown out...).
Although I agree that the 'torso' competed for attention in the original picture... I also thought it gave a purpose to the 'slightly plunging' viewpoint... I've added a note with a less ferocious cropping suggestion...
Posted 82 months ago.
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Yup - *syz was right on the money.
Posted 82 months ago.
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Spigoo's crop:
I think out of all these, I'm personally a fan of the *syz crop, but the fact that you can't see the other strap bothers me a bit--something I'm getting used to though.
Posted 82 months ago.
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...whereas in the crop above, the right strap in the corner is disembodied and distracting.
however, I like the balance in the Spigoo crop, with the girl's chin in the middle of the picture.
Posted 82 months ago.
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A new spin on things, crop 4:
Posted 82 months ago.
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oh, nice !!!
Posted 82 months ago.
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You're definitely getting somewhere! the "disembodied right strap" was indeed problematic...
Posted 82 months ago.
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I think the reason people shoot down is for flattery sake. The angle is slightly thining, and looks more attractive ... shooting up gives you the up-the-nose view which can be interesting but isn't terribly becomming. Straight on, well, is just straight on.
But I agree that the unistrap crop is lovely.
Posted 82 months ago.
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you can all hate me for liking the original crop best.
Posted 82 months ago.
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nah, we'll just continue to rue your cheesy beret and cigaret. (-;
Posted 82 months ago.
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beret? that's my hair!
Posted 82 months ago.
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I was gonna say ... What beret?
Posted 82 months ago.
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LOL @ beret, that's class
Posted 82 months ago.
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I think the main problem is that the contrast is a little too low. I'd deepen the shadows in curves a bit, make the skin tone ever so slightly less peachy (color balance-> yellow -5, and maybe adjust saturation +2), burn the hot highlight on her nose and chin.
Originally posted 82 months ago.
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kimberkit edited this topic 82 months ago.
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